I hear small people...

and my small people will talk to all the other small people. I could be the ruler of all the little Thomas's around the world! I would serve my minions as a Doubtful King offering up a wealth of mixed emotions and self-defeating propositions. I would have the royal non-confidence hotline (1-900-FAILURE or *zero on your cellphone (must be legal drinking age to call)) and remind the people to stick that finger deeper into the wound. "You're a Loser" would become a phrase of adoration because failure is natural but constant failure is an achievement!! I could be the greatest ruler of all time...er...ummm...gimme some time though as I have some issues to deal with!!